Beat the Beat Up!

"Yo, seriously, she's like on a whole 'nother level on pickles." —Jenni "J-WOWW" Huh. Maybe this explains it: "That's why I don't eat frickin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it." —Snooki


Did you watch Sunday night's double feature?? True Blood vs. Mad Men? It was fabulous. I got nervous when my train back from the beach started crawling along at 5 miles an hour because of "signal problems," but I still made it back with an hour to spare.

You might think that all I do is watch TV, good, bad, or really bad, but you'd be wrong! Mostly all I do is watch TV, particularly the really bad stuff. So what? It's not like I schedule my life around cable programming (except for, I guess, Sunday nights). That's why the DVR was invented. And tonight is no exception with the season two premiere of The Jersey Shore!!! GTL baby! You know that's going to be some quality entertainment right there, so make it legit with my Sleazeside inspired party ideas.


A little highbrow perhaps, but you can't go wrong with the colors of the I-talian flag. "I dance because it's something inside of me. I feel the beat, right? It might just so happen that my fist might pump in the air." —Vinny


"I feel like this is beneath me. I'm a bartender. I do great things." —Angelina "Jolie" Riiight.


"If you're hungry, try a Snickers." —Mike "The Situation" Nuff said.


Baked Ziti: in case you get excluded from other dinners. "You know what? You're excluded from dinner, then. You're excluded from Surf-and-Turf Night. You're excluded from Ravioli Night. You're excluded from Chicken-Cutlet Night." —Mike "The Situation"


Cannoli. Because you might need something sweet. Like Sammi. "Next thing you know, the grill is legit burnt. Smoke. Like flames." —Sammi "Sweetheart"


"I told him to put me down because I'm not trashy. Unless I drink too much." —"Snooki" That totally makes sense!

Snooki's Sucker Punch

1 part cranberry juice cocktail
1 part lemonade
1 part Triple Sec
2 parts vodka
Splash of ginger ale
Ice

Add the ingredients to a large red Solo cup in any order. Stir with your finger. Or don't. Repeat.